


Earth

by antioedipus



Series: A Different World [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Background ShikaIno, Drama & Romance, F/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:22:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25906534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antioedipus/pseuds/antioedipus
Summary: Ino and Neji, trying to stave off the inevitable."Most people would describe Neji as cold and aloof. But those people have never seen Neji hunched over a jade plant, with a bowl of soapy water and a few cotton balls. His hair is in a knot on his head, and he dips a cotton pad into the water, and cleans the dust off of the leaves. Ino has given him six in total. He likes them."How it ends.
Relationships: Hyuuga Neji/Yamanaka Ino
Series: A Different World [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1895671
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20





	Earth

“Summer’s in the air, and baby, heaven’s in your eyes”

Lana Del Ray, “National Anthem”

“I’m always pushing you away from me/ But you come back with gravity/ And when I call, you come/ A bird in your teeth…I turned around, there was nothing there/ Yeah, I guess the end is here.”

Phoebe Bridgers, “I Know the End”

Work is never done. Neji usually ends up taking his home with him. His brow is bare, and he is sitting at his kitchen table, doing his little frown. Ino flounces out of his bedroom, wearing one of her matching sets of lingerie. She insists on calling it such; Neji just calls it underwear. She does that because she thinks _lingerie_ is a more sophisticated word. Neji prefers simplicity.

She pads up to him in dusty pink lace, and she leans over him, her mouth in his ear. Before she can open her mouth, Neji raises his hand.

“Please don’t start with me Ino.” It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate the effort. She just always chooses to do this when he is busy doing other things.

“No man has ever said no to me when I’m in lingerie.” She runs a hand along his scalp, and he sighs.

“There is a first time for everything,” he grimaces at the file, picking up a highlighter and uncapping it with his teeth. Ino kisses his ear as he highlights a crucial line.

“Ino,” he mutters.

“Yes?” she asks. She stands up behind him and massages his shoulders. It actually kind of hurts, like, she is pinching a nerve. He squirms and she doubles down.

“Is there any reason why you aren’t wearing any clothes?” he asks.

“Is there any reason why you are wearing clothes?” she replies. He leans his head back to look up at her chin.

“I have work to do,” he says.

“You have _me_ to do,” she leans down to kiss him, but he moves his head forward, so her lips land on his crown. She plants kisses on his head, and Neji resigns himself to his fate.

“Do you even care about my work?” he asks, his voice tired. Sensing his resolve wearing, she pushes his hair over his shoulder, so that she can see the nape of his neck. She starts kissing him there, and Neji grunts. “Are you going to make out with the back of my neck until I give you what you want?” Ino smiles.

“Maybe.” She runs her hands through his hair. “You’re just so _pretty_.”

“I’m pretty.” he deadpans. She hums.

“Prettier than me.” She says, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

“Ino,” he sighs, “I need to get this done. I have five more pages to read.”

“And?” she asks in a sing-song voice.

“And then, I will take your underpants off and have sex with you.” She giggles and he rolls his eyes. “I’ll change my mind.” She kisses his ear.

“No, you won’t.” Victorious, she stands up and pretty much skips back to his bedroom. He smiles at her back, before turning back to his file.

**

The thing with Neji and Ino is that the only time they ever truly get along is when they are having sex. Neji follows up on his promise. He took her underpants off and gave it all to her. One last heave, and she pushes her hips against his as his hand grabs hers. She looks up at him over her shoulder, and he watches the way her lips part into a pant. They are swollen, and he wants to touch them.

So, he runs his thumb along her lower lip, and she closes her mouth over it. She sucks on it, and he sighs.

“It’s always the same with you,” he pulls his hand back and sits down beside her. She sits up and smiles.

“I want you to know how badly I want you.” She sighs, standing up.

“It’s pretty nasty.” He says. “You should get Sakura to check it out. You might have a disease.”

“I don’t want a cure,” she sighs. Neji rolls his eyes.

“I won’t be around forever.” He says. She frowns.

“Don’t say that!” She shrieks. The last thing she wants to think about it a future without him. Neji is her future. She is going to be his wife and have his babies.

Neji does not believe any of this. As far as he is concerned, he is, at most, a pitstop for Ino. He is painfully self-aware, and that means he can see all their petty arguments and insensitive remarks and good sex for what it is: Ino waiting for someone else. Neji turns back to look at her, and smiles.

“Fine, keep your brain disease. I’ll add it to my list of accomplishments. Prodigy, jounin at fifteen, Anbu captain, melted Ino’s brain.” She smiles back.

“Prettiest Girl of All Time’s brain,” she corrects him, “the P.G.O.A.T.” Neji laughs.

“You think you are the prettiest girl to have ever existed?” he asks. She crawls over to him and climbs onto his lap.

“I know I am,” she says. Neji smiles and kisses her on the nose.

In the span of a second, Ino finds her back against the bed, and she raises her leg to hook over Neji’s hip, except, he isn’t on top of her. He isn’t even in the room.

“Neji!” She says, not even bothering to get dressed. She walks out, and sees him back over his files, reading a scroll. “What are you doing?”

“The work I put off to have sex with you,” he doesn’t bother looking up. Ino stamps her foot, and she clenches her jaw as she sees him smile to himself. He is always amused by her antics.

“But I want to cuddle!” She whines. He holds a hand up, and she doesn’t bother approaching him.

“You should have thought of that before you distracted me.” He replies. Neji watches as she walks back into his room, and he follows her, holding his scroll.

He watches her put her clothes back on. He likes how the two planes of her back dip down into her spine.

“What?” she asks, stepping back into her underwear.

“Are you really going to do this?” he asks.

“Yes,” she replies, “I am making a point.”

“By leaving?” he laughs, “don’t you have anything else you could do? You could read a book or do something quiet that doesn’t involve hanging off of me.”

“What’s the point in me being here if I’m not all over you?” she asks, looking for her bra. He sighs.

“I don’t know, maybe I just like your company.”

“Sure,” she picks up her bra and puts it on.

“Ino,” he says, “I like you. We don’t need to have sex all the time.”

“This isn’t about sex!” Ino puts her hands on her hips. “This is about the fact that I want to be close to you."

“Why would you want that?” he asks. His curiosity is genuine. She sighs and puts her face in her hands.

“Because I want to fall in love with you!” She shrieks. Neji blinks at her.

“You want to fall in love with me?” he asks. No one has ever said something like that to him. He does a very good job of keeping them all away.

He sighs. “I’m not easy to love,” he says, “I’m just me.” Neji says this last bit quietly.

“Well, I’m just me too.” She looks over her shoulder for her dress. He can tell that she is hurt by the look in her eyes.

“You should just stay here,” he says, “it’s late. I only have another half hour.”

“Won’t I be a nuisance?” she hisses. Neji walks up to her.

“If you can sit still and read a book, you can sit on me.” Neji doesn’t know why he makes so many concessions for her. In all honesty, she is the one who has rotted his brain.

Ino crosses her arms. “I don’t want to sit on you,” she sniffs. “I want to sleep next to you.” Not for the first time, her motivations baffle him. Neji nods, placing the scroll on his bedside table. She gives him a suspicious look and he frowns.

“We better go brush our teeth,” he mutters, and Ino grins, skipping to the bathroom. Neji tucks a lock of hair behind his ear.

He picks up her dress and hangs it on the hook behind his door and follows her.

**

Ino likes watching Neji do work. She doesn’t like that it takes him away from her, but he is so pretty that she almost wants to read the files he is looking at. He sits on the couch, his hair up in a knot, his jaw set tight on his face. His eyes are narrow, and she can tell that whatever he is reading is annoying him. Maybe Shikamaru made a spelling mistake or failed to include a vital piece of information.

Neji wears pajama bottoms and an open robe. He is a big believer in lounge wear, something she never would have expected. His elbows are on his knees, and he is hunched over. Ino knows that he doesn’t like being bothered while he is doing work, but he consistently appreciates her distractions.

She smiles at him. Ino frequently thinks about their future together: he is handsome, successful, smart. Neji isn’t going places. He has already arrived: an Anbu captain and a prodigy. Besides, the Hyuugas are the closest you can get to a blue blood in Konoha. He has never _not_ been remarkable.

And he chose her, of all people. She knows that she is a catch but so is he. Looks wise, it is a lateral move between them. Ino frequently thinks about what their babies will look like, and what kind of house they will have. She really hopes he isn’t a dog person.

Ino clears her throat, and he looks at her. Neji blinks as she sways over. His eyes linger on her hips, so she swings them more. He smirks.

“You look ridiculous,” he says quietly. She pouts.

“Do you not want me to come over there?” she says, “because I won’t take another step unless you ask me to.” Neji sets the file down on the coffee table and smiles. His face is the most symmetrical one she has ever seen.

“Ino,” he says, “would you like to come over here and sit with me on the couch?”

“Maybe,” she replies, “only if you want me too.” Neji rolls his eyes. He thinks she acts like a child because she thinks men respond to it. It makes him judge Sai and Shikamaru. He never thought either of them would indulge whining, until he started dating Ino.

“I don’t know,” he drawls, “will you speak like an adult?” Ino narrows her eyes, and Neji laughs. Men don’t usually tell her when she is acting like a child.

She puffs her cheeks, and Neji only laughs harder. “Why are you laughing?” she shrieks. He sighs before he responds.

“Because you think I want you to infantilize yourself.” Neji leans back on the couch, and smirks. Ino huffs.

“I do not act like a baby!” She tosses her hair over her shoulder.

“Then don’t shriek or act juvenile.” He replies. “Act like a grown up.”

“Oh, and what would that look like?” she shoots back, arms crossed.

Sai is beautiful, but he lacks ambition. Shikamaru is smart, but he doesn’t like telling people what to do. Neji is handsome, smart, full of ambition and content telling her what to do. He gives her direction. Discipline.

She wants to call him _daddy_ during sex, just to see what he will do.

Neji shrugs. “You’d walk normally.” She pouts.

“I need specific instructions on how to be an adult,” she drawls. Neji hums as he thinks about what he actually wants.

“Well,” he says, “I like you better without pants on.” Ino smirks, and unbuttons her shorts, pulling them down and off, along with her underwear. Ino pulls off her top, and unclasps her bra, letting it all drop to the floor.

She sees the tendon in his neck, and she smiles. Ino likes making him speechless. She walks over and climbs onto him. He pulls her onto his lap, and today, he kisses her first.

“Am I an adult now?” she asks quietly. He gives her this intense look, and it makes her press against him.

“You always were,” he replies, before kissing her jaw. She pushes his robe over his shoulders. As they lay back, she thinks about the way Neji makes her feel like a person, an agent in her own life. She sighs and Ino wonders if they will ever be close enough.

**

Most people would describe Neji as cold and aloof. But those people have never seen Neji hunched over a jade plant, with a bowl of soapy water and a few cotton balls. His hair is in a knot on his head, and he dips a cotton pad into the water, and cleans the dust off of the leaves. Ino has given him six in total. He likes them.

Smiling at the plant he is cleaning, Neji rubs a cleaned leaf between his thumb and ring finger. It makes Ino’s heart tug in her chest. Sai would also do tender things, but nothing like this. Neji is listening to the radio. It’s just a news broadcast. Ino walks over to the table and sits beside him.

“Can I help?” she asks softly. Neji looks up at her, his mouth pressed into a line.

“I do this to unwind.” He replies. Ino rolls her eyes.

“You can say no to me.” She says.

“Then it is a no,” he says, “but I would like to hear about your day.” Neji smiles right at her, and Ino feels like she has won something.

“Oh, it was boring,” she tosses her hair back over her shoulder. He squints at a leaf, hunching right over the plant.

“I still want to hear about it,” he murmurs. They have been spending more time with their clothes on, and they are both surprised by how pleasant it has been. He’s discovering that he likes Ino as a person. Neji would never tell her this, but it is nice to experience how soft she is beneath the petty dramatics.

Ino puts her chin on her fist and looks at him. “I’m thinking about working in Torture & Interrogation,” she says. “Ibiki recruited me.”

“That’s a compliment,” Neji says. He sounds impressed. “You should take it.”

“Are you sure?” she asks. “I like working in the hospital.”

“It’s hard to get recruited to T&I,” Neji replies, “Ibiki is selective.”

“He knew my dad,” she sighs, “he wants another Inoichi.”

“You are his daughter,” Neji replies. Ino frowns.

“I’m not him,” she sighs. “It just makes me miss my dad more.” She taps her nail against the table. Neji nods in response.

“Ibiki doesn’t do things out of pity. He clearly thinks you are more than qualified if he approached you personally.” Neji sighs. “The dead dad thing is what it is.”

“I guess you’re right,” she says, “but I wish you weren’t.” He looks her in the eye, and for the first time, she sees the hurt child that motivates all of his behaviour.

“I wish I were wrong, too.” He says, “accepting my father’s death is something I still struggle with.” Ino stands up and walks around the table. She makes a gesture for him to scoot out, and so he moves his chair back.

Ino sits in his lap and wraps her arms around him. She presses her face into his neck, and for a second, Neji is confused. “What is it, Ino?” he asks.

“I’m sorry about your dad,” she sighs.

“You did nothing wrong,” he says, “it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, Neji.” Ino rests her head on his shoulder. “Our dads are still something, even if they’re dead. Neji sighs.

“Yes, they are.” His dad doesn’t even have a grave.

“Want to do something for them?” she says, “we could plant some flowers in my mom’s garden.” Neji smiles.

“Maybe.” He laughs, “I guess I’d have to meet your mom.” Ino smiles and kisses his neck.

“Yes,” she sighs.

Neji lets her sit on his lap while he finishes cleaning the jade plants. She thinks about how much she likes him. She doesn’t have a definite amount, but it is a _lot_ of like. Maybe, it could be love.

**

This isn’t a secret: Neji doesn’t really care for Shikamaru. He’s smart and a good worker, but that is about it, as far as compliments go. Chouji, on the other hand, Neji finds deeply likable. All he does is eat chips and take the piss out of Ino and Shikamaru, two hobbies that Neji can get behind.

Ino dragged Neji to Team Dinner, which Chouji always hosts. Karui has moved to Konoha, and Temari is here to visit, so it is a full table. Neji was just cornered in the kitchen by Chouji and Shikamaru for their bi-monthly ‘Ino talk,’ where they speak to Neji like they could actually hurt him if he ever hurt Ino. Neji simply clenches his jaw and takes it, because a part of him does want to love Ino. So, he sits through the indignity of Shikamaru glaring at him while Chouji prattles on about Ino-Shika-Cho and clan promises.

Neji would take it more seriously if Shikamaru and Ino weren’t always orbiting each other at these things. Ino makes an insipid remark, Shikamaru jumps on it. Shikamaru lights a cigarette, Ino yells about lung cancer. It’s always something. There is no peace. Chouji thinks it’s cute. Karui and Temari are acclimated, and not for the first time, Neji believes he is the last sane man.

The only time he doesn’t feel that way is when he is with his Anbu team. Sai and Sasuke are also pathologically sane. He doesn’t like them a lot either, but they never make him want to pull his hair out of his head.

“Shikamaru,” Ino drawls, “you cannot tell me that you really bought Temari a book for your anniversary.”

“Unlike you, Temari can read.” Shikamaru fiddles with his lighter. Ino puffs her cheeks.

“If she’s so smart, why is she with you?” Ino counters. Shikamaru smirks, and Ino shrieks _GROSS!_ Neji doesn’t think she is grossed out at all. If she has unprotected sex with him, Neji wonders what she would let Shikamaru do to her.

Neji shakes his head and walks over to the balcony. He slides the door open, and he steps out into the cool summer night. He looks over his shoulder, and Temari stands in the corner. She is smoking a cigarette, and before he can say anything, she holds a finger to her lips. Neji smirks. He walks over to her and puts his arm on the railing.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” he mutters. Temari smiles.

“Only when Shikamaru is distracted.” She hums. Neji nods.

“They always do this when they are together.” He says, “I don’t know how you and Karui stand it.” Temari shrugs, holding her cigarette out like an offering.

“I cultivate lung cancer.” She deadpans. Neji smirks, taking the cigarette from her.

“It’s a filthy habit.” He says, before taking a puff. Temari shrugs.

“Good thing it isn’t a habit.” She replies.

“It will be, if you do it every time Shikamaru and Ino do their dance.” Neji passes the cigarette back to her. Temari pinches it between her thumb and forefinger.

“Expecting them to change is futile,” she smirks, “you can leave or live with it.” Neji snorts.

“I’m usually the one saying that,” he drawls. Temari gives him a real smile.

Her eyes flick over his face. Neji is handsome. Sai is cute, but not like Neji. Temari can admit that she wouldn’t say no if Neji came onto her. Like Ino, he is everyone’s type. She doesn’t know him well, but Temari thinks she would like to. Neji tilts his head at her.

“What?” he asks. Temari smirks.

“I see what Ino sees in you,” she drawls. Neji scoffs.

“Ino doesn’t see _me_ , she sees an image.” He replies. Temari offers him the cigarette, and he takes it. As he inhales, she gives him a sympathetic look.

“I’m sure that’s not the case. The shallow, stuck-up thing is a front. I know for a fact that she would kill for Chouji and Shikamaru, and they aren’t cute.” She says. Neji grins.

“Do you even like Shikamaru?” he asks.

“Right now? No.” She pauses, frowning. “He doesn’t pay a lot of attention when she is around.”

“She hogs the spotlight,” Neji says, “she gets jealous when I water my plants.” This isn’t true. Ino actually swoons when he takes care of anything. But Temari looks like she needs to hear a lie.

“You don’t have to make me feel better,” Temari says, “I am a big girl.” Neji passes the cigarette back to her.

“Ino doesn’t want me.” He states. Temari gives him a confused look.

“How do you know?” she asks quietly.

“The same way you do.” He says, turning to look out over Konoha.

Sasuke always says that Konoha has the prettiest stars, and Neji can’t say he’s wrong.

**

She wants to take care of Neji, so Ino will often let herself into his apartment and do chores for him. Today, she did his laundry, but she always gets it wrong. This time she left it in the dryer for too long. It is all wrinkled.

She frowns, holding up a shirt. Neji sighs, hands on his hips. “You don’t need to do this.”

“But I want to take care of you,” she replies. He picks up another wrinkled shirt out of the laundry.

“I’m a grown man,” he says, “I can do my own laundry.”

“So?” she replies.

“So? I am self-sufficient.” He replies in an even voice.

“I want you to rely on me for things,” she smiles. He glances down at his wrinkled shirt.

“But housework? That’s what you think I want to rely on you for?” Neji takes the shirt from her grasp. She frowns.

“Why shouldn’t I do your housework?” she asks.

“I’m better at it.” He states.

Apparently, this is the wrong thing to say. Ino scowls and walks over to the sink to do the dishes. Neji sighs, looking down at the basket of laundry. He picks up a shirt and starts folding. They don’t speak for the rest of the evening.

**

Whenever Ino gets a boyfriend, she finds new and impressive ways to use the word boyfriend. She sits on Chouji’s couch, her legs crossed. Chouji is beside her, eating chips. Shikamaru is pacing around the living room, puffing on a cigarette while Ino babbles on about Neji. Shikamaru rolls his eyes. “We get it. You have a boyfriend.”

‘Why do you have a problem with my happiness?” Ino squawks. Chouji smirks.

“It’s not your happiness,” he says, “just the cause.”

“What do you mean?” Ino asks, “it’s just Neji.”

“It’s a trauma response to your ‘Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke’ phase.” Shikamaru drawls, puffing on his cigarette.

“You are so rude,” she says. Shikamaru shrugs.

“I’m just letting you know how irritating you are.” He takes another puff, but they aren’t making him feel better.

“ _Sure_ ,” Chouji replies. Ino narrows her eyes.

“I think you are just jealous.”

“What is there to be jealous of, Ino?” Shikamaru retorts.

“Oh boy,” Chouji says. Shikamaru and Ino, focused on each other, don’t hear him.

“Neji is a total catch,” she sniffs, “your mad because I’ve done better than you.”

“Temari is the sister of the Kazekage,” Shikamaru replies, “she made jounin before Neji.”

“Don’t you think it’s funny that you two are arguing over who has the better partner?” Chouji asks. He isn’t surprised when he is, once again, ignored. He wishes Asuma were alive to watch this fight. He gave excellent running commentary on Shikamaru and Ino’s numerous clashes.

“Neji is dreamy,” she says. Shikamaru rolls his eyes.

“Clearly you don’t care about his personality, but I do,” Shikamaru drawls, “he is a total asshole to work with.”

“Because you are always overworking on him.” Ino shrieks. “He does so much for you!”

“He is an Anbu captain.” Shikamaru sighs, “he signed up for it.”

“I don’t think this argument is really about Neji or Temari,” Chouji says, holding a chip up to the light.

“What _is_ it about?” Ino asks, her arms crossed. Shikamaru stares at him.

“You’ll figure it out,” Chouji hums, “I am sure of it.”

He laughs when Ino and Shikamaru scowl at him, like they did when they were seven.

**

In all their time time together, Neji has never once thought that Ino loves him. By that, he means that he doesn’t think that she would love him if he were anything less than the Hyuuga Prodigy or an Anbu captain. Ino is a loving person, and she means well. She obviously _wants_ to love him. He can tell by the way she runs her fingers through his hair and holds his hand. Neji doesn’t think he has the capacity to love, not the way that she wants him to.

Hinata and Tenten always tell him to be more optimistic, to let Ino in. But he doesn’t know how to open up, and what is he going to do, tell Ino to climb through the window of his heart instead of walking through the door? No. She deserves better.

Neji turns his head and watches her while she sleeps. She looks very peaceful. Undamaged. She has lost her father and fought in a war but isn’t traumatized. Neji sighs. She looks beautiful in the blue light. He feels broken.

It’s impossible to articulate the ongoing intergenerational trauma of being a Hyuuga. Hinata is the only person he can talk to about it, but they have never been able to fully unpack their miserable childhoods. You never really recover when the people who were supposed to protect you not only failed spectacularly but actually perpetrated harm against you. 

Neji hasn’t told Ino that he doesn’t want to have kids. He respects children and the responsibility of raising them. He has always been good at evaluating his abilities. He knows that he is not up for the task of being a father. He doesn’t really know why he has avoided telling Ino. At first, he told himself that it is because whatever this is, it won’t last long. But as the months drag on and he can see her plan their future, he finds himself reluctant to challenge her. Neji turns onto his side, so that his back is to her. The time to withdraw is swiftly approaching, so he practices by sleeping with his back to her after she falls asleep.

**

Neji is ready for her when she sidles up to him. He holds his hand up, his gesture for silence. He leans against his kitchen counter, reading a report. Ino taps her foot impatiently and sighs, repeatedly and loudly until he glares up at her.

“Yes?” he huffs, irritated.

“Don’t sound so happy,” she replies. Neji rolls his eyes.

“You’re hovering, and I am busy. What is it?” he asks.

“I want to meet your uncle,” she puts her hands on her hips. “I think it is time.” Neji smirks.

“My uncle is an asshole,” he deadpans. It was Hinata, not Hiashi, who taught Neji to be a man. Her friendship with Ino is infinitely more meaningful to him.

“But I want to be a part of your life,” she whines, pressing herself against him. Neji looks up at the wall in front of him, thinking about how he ought to respond.

“You are here are all the time,” he replies. Ino shrugs.

“It’s not enough.”

“It’s never enough with you,” he murmurs. “You are a glutton.”

“Only when it comes to you,” she smirks. “Want to know how to get me to leave you alone?”

“You will never leave me alone,” he deadpans. Ino wraps her arms around him, squeezing him tight. “ _Ino_.”

“Come for dinner at my mom’s house,” she beams up at him. “She would love to meet you.” Neji puts his report down and looks into her eyes the way she likes him to.

“That is what it would take to get you to leave me alone?” he asks. She nods. He sighs.

“My schedule is pretty full, but I will let you know when I have time to meet your mom.” He smiles at her, and she wiggles against him. Neji doesn’t think he has ever been with a woman who was so easy to please.

Today, he kisses her first.

**

Hunched over a file, Neji stares at the clock. It is 9 PM. Ino should be back from having dinner with her mother. She had really wanted him to join her this time, but this is generally the only time he has to finish up reports. He told Shikamaru that Ino doesn’t like his workload, but for some reason, it only made the work pile up. Sasuke had groaned, while Sai shrugged and remarked that Shikamaru was just jealous with a petty streak. _But does he have to drag us into it?_ Sasuke whined. Sai shrugged and said that the running theme for their lives, if he had to choose one, would be “collateral damage to someone else’s scheming.” Both Neji and Sasuke had laughed at that one.

The long and short of it is that Neji works too much to give Ino the attention and stability she craves. It makes him feel bad, having to adopt a _leave or live with it_ attitude towards her. For all her annoying quirks and their petty fights, Neji does love her. She is protective and caring, and not once has she made him feel inadequate for his obvious emotional failings. In all honesty, it is kind of funny how much she wants him. It’s like she wants to hump his leg when he gets home from work, and she is always hanging off of him when she can.

He hears the lock turn, and he turns to see Ino walk into his apartment. Her hair is down, and she is wearing one of her short dresses. It’s white, like she’s virginal. He smirks, because that is the opposite of who she is in bed. It’s hard for him to look at her when she’s angry and take her seriously when he has been inside her and she has said things like _I’ll kill you if you stop right now_. She doesn’t talk dirty so much as she likes to say stupid things to get a rise out him. That last one worked, by the way.

Ino kicks off her shoes and looks at him. She smiles at him, throwing her purse onto the floor. “I’m back,” she declares. Neji smiles.

“I can see,” he replies.

“My mom was disappointed that you couldn’t make it,” Ino says, padding over to the couch. Neji sighs.

“Sorry,” he says, “Shikamaru gave me a big mission today.” Ino frowns.

“You blame Shikamaru for your time management problems.” She says, taking the file out of Neji’s hand. She sets it on the coffee table. He opens his arms, and she sits on his lap, arms around his neck.

“He is my boss,” Neji says, “and I don’t have issues managing my time.” Ino shrugs.

“You’re the one poring over files when you could be spending time with me, not him.” She tilts her head as she smiles. Neji restrains himself from saying that it is probably Shikamaru’s plan to do just that.

But Neji is the one who gets to have sex with Ino, so he comes out ahead. Neji strokes her thigh, moving his hand up under her dress. Ino wiggles, and kisses his temple, while he thinks about how he can make up for tonight. “I am sorry,” he says quietly. Ino sighs.

“We’ll figure it out,” she says.

“I’ve never met anyone’s mom,” he says. Ino tilts her head.

“No way,” she says. Her head buzzes with the possibility of being first.

“Yes,” he drawls, “I don’t really date.”

“You’re good at sex,” Ino kisses the side of his face. Being the first girl whose mom Neji will meet makes her feel warm. Like things are beginning to align.

“You don’t need to meet someone’s mom for that,” Neji deadpans as Ino moves to straddle him.

“You didn’t want to meet the people that made those other girls?” she teases. Neji sighs and looks up at her. Ino is the kind of girl that if you date her, you have to meet her family. 

“I’d like to meet the woman who made you,” he smirks, “maybe I’d like her better.” Ino squeals and tries to pull away, but Neji holds fast, laughing while she squirms.

“That’s gross,” she says, “just plain wrong.” Neji grins in response.

“Good sex is gross,” he says, “like how you let me come inside you.” Ino pouts.

“Your semen doesn’t gross me out,” she says, tucking her bangs back behind her ear.

“C’mon, it’s a little gross that we kiss after we’ve had each other’s genitals in our mouths.” Neji kisses her chin, and Ino narrows her eyes.

“Are you saying my body is gross?” she asks. Neji hums.

“No, it’s just gross that you let me kiss you after I’ve eaten you out.” He smirks, “I like it.”

“But gross is a disrespectful way to describe what we do,” Ino whines.

“If it isn’t gross, it isn’t fun,” Neji smiles at her, and something in Ino softens. She kisses him properly, and it makes them smile.

“Want to do it?” she asks. Neji doesn’t respond. He just rips her dress off.

And by rip, there is a tear. “Neji!” She shrieks, and he rolls his eyes.

“I’ll buy you a new dress,” he says into her neck, “an expensive one.”

“How expensive?” she asks, taking off her bra. Neji leans back to think.

“So expensive that I won’t rip it off you,” he shrugs. Satisfied with his answer, she presses her mouth to his, and runs her tongue along the inside of his lower lip.

She fiddles with the buttons of his shirt, and he laughs when she lets out a curse. “Don’t you ever want me to see you naked?” she asks. Neji shrugs.

“I don’t need to be naked for this, Ino.” He kisses her shoulder. She hums in the back of her throat.

“I like seeing you naked.” She replies.

“Well, that takes time, _Ino_ ,” he murmurs against her shoulder. He can tell that she is impatient.

“But I want you _now_ ,” she reaches down for the zipper of his pants.

“You can have me now _and_ later,” he sighs as she slips her hand into his pants, “I’ll even be naked the second time.”

“You promise?” she asks. Neji nods, words being beyond him as Ino lines them up.

“Cross my heart,” he says. She nods, and he pushes her panties to the side as she slides him in.

They sit there and look at each other for a bit, both a little stunned that things are happening this fast. But Neji is quick on the uptake, and he rocks into her the way she likes. Hot, fast and to the point. Ino kisses his jaw as he takes her by the hips and shows her what a man he is. She arches her back to meet him, and she moans along with him.

You see, when they have sex, their mismatched, at times turbulent, relationship makes a lot more sense. Neji likes to give, Ino likes to take. They both win.

Ino likes being close to him when he acts this way, not like a brute but not a gentleman either. What is the name for the person that sits right in the middle of those two types? Is that just what being a man is? She kisses his upper lip as she ponders the kind of man Neji becomes when he is inside of her. It’s like he finally feels comfortable with her when they are in their knot. Ino loves how it feels when he finally lets her see him, and she wishes that they didn’t have to have sex for him to do it.

Neji interrupts her when he jerks up against her.

“Ouch!” She hisses. He pauses, tilting his head.

“Did that really hurt?” he asks. She narrows her eyes.

“Yes,” she says, “are you trying to batter my cervix?” Neji snorts.

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?!”

“Quite possibly,” he replies, before he frowns. “I am sorry.”

“It’s fine, keep going,” she says, and he starts moving again. However, he has overcorrected. This isn’t what she wants.

She wiggles to get him going again, but he is still too gentle. “Neeeji,” she whines, “I want more.”

“So soon?” he asks. If he took a hit like he gave her, he wouldn’t be raring to go. On the other hand, Ino likes it hard. She nods, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“What can I say to convince you?” she hums, tilting her head back. Neji rolls his eyes and simply goes back to doing what he was before, and eventually they both forget this minor flub. When she looks at the frown of concentration on his face, she can’t help but want to needle him a little. She just wants to see him sweat.

“You know what I want to call you?” she pants. Neji grunts in response, either distracted or disinterested. Perhaps both. You can never tell with him. “I want to call you _daddy_.” He makes a choking noise and glares up at her. “What?”

“You know what,” he says, frowning.

“No, I really don’t,” she pants, “ _daddy_.” It is not lost on either of them that he moves faster. “I think you like it, don’t you, _daddy_?” Ino’s giggle is knocked out of her. Neji bites his lower lip, and she can tell that he is starting to sweat. “I’ll call you that again if you ask nicely.” She murmurs into his ear, and he comes at her again and again, until he gives in.

Well, it’s Neji, so his request comes out like a demand. “Call me daddy,” he says, without irony or embarrassment.

“That wasn’t nice, or a question,” she kisses his throat, pressing herself to him.

“I wouldn’t be your daddy if I asked nicely,” Neji replies. Ino can’t argue with him there. So, she chants it like a chorus, between yesses and pleases and mores: _daddy, daddy, daddy_.

Neji said it himself: sex isn’t fun unless it is a little gross, and with one last push, he breaks on through to the other side. Ino finishes with him, and as they sit on his couch, sweaty and tired, Ino starts giggling.

“What?” Neji asks. Ino shrugs.

“It’s just funny that you said you wanted to know if you’d be into my mom, and that I ended up calling you daddy,” she grins, “you could be daddy in both senses of the word.” Neji laughs, and the sound makes Ino melt a little.

“I don’t have the time or inclination to pursue your mother,” Neji sighs, looking up at Ino with a soft look in his eyes. She smiles back and pushes his hair behind his ears.

“Even your ears are pretty,” she murmurs. Neji shrugs.

“It’s my cross to bear.” He says.

“You have too many responsibilities,” she says, tracing the edge of his ear cartilage. It is a smooth, even arch.

“Someone has to do Shikamaru’s bidding,” he grumbles. Ino narrows her eyes and Neji pulls her close. “There is a difference between Shikamaru your friend and Shikamaru my boss.” Although, now that Neji thinks about, he is certain that they are one and the same person.

“Everyone complains about him when all he does is try to keep the village safe.” Ino stretches up, to the right and then the left.

“Whatever,” Neji says, “what I wanted to say is that I want to try.” Not harder, but better.

“Try what?” Ino asks, leaning towards his face.

“To not be a shitty boyfriend.” Neji says this against her mouth. She smiles.

“You have never been a shitty boyfriend,” she replies, “I wouldn’t have called you daddy otherwise.” Neji snorts.

“That’s a relief,” he says.

Another way in which he has beaten Shikamaru: Neji is the one Ino calls daddy.

**

One of the things that Ino starts doing, unprompted, is making lunch for Neji and his Anbu team. Every day they are in town, she drops by Hokage Tower with lunch for each of them. Sasuke and Sai don’t really want to eat them, but Neji glares whenever they hesitate to take one. It’s the kind of thing that makes them wonder if Neji really does love Ino.

Today, Sasuke and Sai manage to track Naruto down for lunch. They give him their lunches, since he is always hungry and will eat almost anything. Sai sucks on a juice box while Sasuke eats a rice ball. They both watch Naruto eat like a monster.

“These are good. Are you sure you don’t want them?” Naruto asks with his mouth full. Sai shakes his head and Sasuke snorts.

“I have no interest in eating anything Ino makes,” he replies, “besides, Neji is making a mistake, and I won’t implicate myself in it.”

“Why do you think she’s a mistake?” Naruto says, “she is the hottest girl I’ve ever seen.” Sasuke turns to Sai, who puts the problem best. Sai doesn’t bother taking the straw from his mouth.

“Neji is pathologically incapable of the love Ino wants.” Sai says. “She wants a family, and the last thing Neji wants is a baby.”

“You guys talk about whether or not you want to have families?” Naruto giggles, “that’s fucking lame.” Sasuke rolls his eyes.

“Neji makes faces at children and hates loud noises.” He replies.

“And he always looks a little annoyed when Ino hangs off of him,” Sai adds. Having dated Ino, he can appreciate how clingy she can be. But he always reciprocated her affection. Neji looks irritated and a little uncomfortable.

“Well, why are you two letting him make a mistake?” Naruto asks, stuffing rice into his mouth. “I would tell you two if you were dating someone obviously wrong for you.”

“So that he will _learn_ , Naruto.” Sasuke says, “people don’t learn unless they do the stupid thing.”

“That’s dumb,” Naruto says, “I wouldn’t let you two learn by trial and error.” Sasuke rolls his eyes and stuffs the rest of his rice ball into his mouth.

“When you love someone, you have to let them fail.” Sai says in a sage-like manner. Naruto rolls his eyes.

“Neither of you love Neji,” he says, “I know this for a fact.” Sasuke swallows his rice ball with a gulp.

“It’s also a little funny to watch her climb on him,” Sasuke says. Sai nods.

“It’s actually very funny.” Sai adds, “he makes a stupid face when she jumps him.”

Naruto shrugs, and moves on to the second lunchbox.

**

Sometimes, on missions, Neji can’t sleep. They all have trouble sleeping sometimes, but it’s been like this for a week. Neji rubs his eyes, even though he usually avoids touching his face. He just finished reporting to Kakashi, and he is looking for Ino. Apparently, she decided to take the day off with Chouji and Shikamaru, so he figures they are all eating barbecue. Neji isn’t really looking forward to seeing anyone but Ino. He actually thinks Shikamaru is a total asshole, but he has no choice in this case.

He just missed Ino’s face. Not because she’s pretty, but because it brings him some comfort to know that she is okay. When he is away from her, it makes him nervous. Like, he wouldn’t say he is madly in love with her or that he thinks soulmates are real, but he is incredibly attached to her. It wasn’t the plan but here he is.

He steps into the restaurant and goes up the stairs, to where they are all sitting. He can hear Ino and Chouji bickering, while Shikamaru offers the occasional comment. Temari is there, trying to eat in peace, and Karui is watching, laughing each time Chouji lands a good jab. Ino looks flustered, and Neji smiles to himself because it means that she is okay.

Ino has made him stronger, in the sense that he now feels invested in the welfare of the entire village, not just Tenten, Hinata and Hanabi. He always understood it intellectually, but he never had an emotional pull towards it until now. He has a person who relies on his work to stay safe, and he doesn’t take any obligation lightly.

Neji crosses his arms and waits for them to notice him. Temari sees him first and flashes a smile. Then it is Karui, who also smiles but adds a wave. Ino sees him next, and when she does, she nearly knocks over the table trying to get to him.

“Neji!” She exclaims, walking around Chouji. “You’re back.” Neji doesn’t say anything in response. For once, he embraces her first. He puts his face into the place where her neck meets her shoulder and inhales. No perfume today. Just her.

He holds her tight, one hand between her shoulder blades and another across the stretch of her hips. “I missed you,” he murmurs, keeping his eyes closed. Ino smiles to herself and reciprocates his embrace. He has never held her this way in public. It makes her feel precious. She melts into him on an exhale.

The rest turn away, giving them some privacy. Temari pokes at a piece of tripe, and smirks.

“Neji is pretty dreamy, isn’t he?” she says to Karui, who nods.

“I’d let him hold me,” Chouji jokes. Karui and Temari have to cover their mouths to keep from cackling. Shikamaru frowns.

“He’s a nightmare to work with,” he mutters, and Chouji tilts his head.

“C’mon, even you have to admit that it’s pretty cute,” he drawls, “this is actually the most affection I have ever seen from him. Usually, he just seems vaguely amused by her.” Chouji puts a piece of tripe in his mouth, and Shikamaru sighs.

“You’re just mad because he is cuter,” Temari says. Shikamaru frowns.

“It’s not that,” he says, although, if asked, he wouldn’t really be able to articulate what _it_ is, so much as what _it_ feels like to see Neji hug Ino. _It_ doesn’t feel like the end of the world; more like a window closing. 

**

Trying looks like this: one day, Neji bites the bullet and goes up to Ino’s mother’s house. He introduces himself as a friend of Ino’s, and that he heard she needed some yard work done. Her mother smiles and nods. In twenty minutes, Neji is hunched over in the heat, his foot on a shovel, driving it into the hot, dry dirt.

Her mom wants to plant a bush. He is sort of embarrassed to be grunting like this in front of Ino’s mom. She asks him about his job, how he knows Ino. The little things. Neji figures it isn’t appropriate to say that he has been having unprotected sex with her daughter, so he keeps their exact point of connection to himself.

When Ino walks out the back door, wearing shorts and a tank top, she is surprised to see Neji, in his Anbu fatigues, hunched over a shovel while her mom talks his ear off. He said he would be trying, and she supposes she ought to be grateful. But that’s hard when this isn’t how she pictured him meeting her mom.

“Neji,” she calls, “I didn’t know you were coming around.” Both her mother and Neji know that she is upset by the strain in her voice.

“Ino,” her mother says, “you don’t speak to guests that way.” _Not the handsome ones_. Her mother has never corrected the way she speaks to Shikamaru or Chouji. That was her dad’s job. Neji turns his head away and focuses on breaking up the dirt.

“I just didn’t know he was coming over.” Ino tucks her hair behind her ear.

“It’s true,” he decides to save her ass. “I came here without telling her. I wanted it to be a surprise.” He looks up with a smile. Ino wants to be mad, but she can’t be. Not when he’s trying.

“I’ll go get lemonade.” She smiles. Her mother nods.

“That’s the daughter I raised.” Neji keeps his head down.

“That she is,” he replies.

Ino is apologetic. When she comes back out, she brushes his hand when she gives him his glass. He smiles at her then, his face covered in sweat and dirt. She thinks he has never looked more beautiful.

**

There is nothing funnier than when Ino visits Neji during training. She touches his arms and talks in a high-pitched voice. It makes Sai smirk and Sasuke snicker. Neji pushes them, hard, so it’s always nice to see him sweat for a change. Sasuke once made a joke about the sex being good, and Neji shut him down. Not forgetting Sai’s infatuation with Tenten and the look on Sasuke’s face when Hinata licked his arm, Neji doesn’t hold back. _I am sure I am just a stop on the way to you, Sasuke_ , he drawled, _but if you must know, Ino says I’m the best she has ever had. Did you want to know that, Sai?_ Sasuke immediately shut his mouth and Sai blinked. Neji shrugged when they both glared at him, but they never brought it up again.

So, when Ino shows up and keeps Neji at a safe distance, they openly smirk. Sasuke is about to make fun of the stupid look on Neji’s face, when Hinata and Ino walk into the training hall. They both look over at Neji and Ino. Tenten and Hinata exchange looks and walk over to Sai and Sasuke. Sasuke hasn’t spoken to Hinata since she licked his arm. He is pretty sure that she forgot about it, but he thinks about her tongue at the most inopportune times. Sai’s tummy flutters when he sees Tenten. It makes him feel sick.

“Hi,” Tenten smiles, “I brought my recruitment form here to give to Neji. Could you give it to him?” she asks, holding it out. Sai, awkward, doesn’t smile as he takes the form. Sasuke internally groans, realizing that he will have to carry this social interaction, tries to figure out how to be pleasant.

“How are you?” he asks. Tenten shrugs.

“I’m fine,” Hinata replies. Sasuke smirks.

“Did you come here to lick my other arm?” he asks. Hinata blushes and presses her mouth into a line.

“I’m sorry about that,” she says, “I should have apologized months ago.” She hasn’t seen Sasuke until then. He is a little disappointed by her response. Sasuke was hoping she would at least take the bait, if not flirt with him. It figures that he would take interest in the last girl who would notice him.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he drawls. “It was worth it just to see that train wreck start.” Sasuke nods over to Ino and Neji. Ino is tossing her hair over her shoulder and her arms are crossed. Apparently, he _can_ annoy her. Tenten bites her cheek and Hinata purses her lips.

“He needs to learn,” Hinata finally says.

“Maybe they will make it work,” Tenten says, trying to stay optimistic. She wants Neji to be happy. She just never imagined that he would try to fall in love.

“Is that what love looks like?” Sasuke asks. He is no expert, but he has a more mutual relationship with Sai than whatever is happening between Neji and Ino. Sai is still flustered, which means he is exceedingly quiet and nods a lot. Tenten doesn’t seem to notice, or mind. She smiles at Sai, and Sasuke is pretty sure Sai had a heart attack. If she joins their Anbu team, it will be worth it just to watch Sai get tongue tied around her. Sasuke wonders if Sai will ever acclimate to her. For his own entertainment, Sasuke hopes it will take a while. 

“Love looks like different things to different people.” Hinata murmurs, and Sasuke tries not to look at her big eyes. They are distracting.

“Maybe,” he says, turning away.

Hinata and Tenten leave when it becomes clear that Neji is so engrossed his ‘discussion’ with Ino that he doesn’t realize that they are there.

**

Not for the first time, Ino wonders if this was a mistake. She looks at herself in the mirror, fiddling with the straps of her silk blouse. It’s a wrap top, tying around her waist with spaghetti straps. It’s the color of fruit punch. The neckline is open. She hopes she looks nice.

“ _Ino_ ,” Shikamaru knocks on her bedroom door. “Are you ready yet?”

“No!” She says, “it takes time to be beautiful.” She hears a groan from behind the door.

“Can we come in?” he asks. She narrows her eyes.

“As long as you don’t complain about me putting make up on,” she says. Shikamaru likes to point out that if she didn’t insist on wearing it, they would be able to get to where they needed to be on time.

Shikamaru opens the door and waltzes in, like he has many times before. Chouji and Neji follow him. Shikamaru sits on Neji’s side of the bed. It’s obvious which one it is, because it is the one that doesn’t have all her magazines and hair ties piled on it. Chouji sits on the end of the bed on her side. Neji leans against the doorway.

Chouji is immune to Ino. He is the only person who is more immune to her than Sasuke. Actually, between the two of them, Neji is certain that Sasuke is more likely to have sex with Ino. Shikamaru, on the other hand, may tell himself that he is immune, but he is the furthest thing from it. Neji can tell by the way he looks at Ino rubbing tinted moisturizer on her face. Shikamaru is committing the way her hands move in circles across her face to memory.

She puts a lot of effort into looking nice for Neji. This amuses him, because it’s dumb that she puts so much effort into impressing an asshole like him. Neji likes Ino, and he doesn’t really understand _why_ she puts so much effort into looking good for him. Sasuke put it best: despite their looks, on the inside, Sasuke, Sai and Neji are three average fuck faces. Hinata and Tenten are the only women who can see that; Neji has no interest in either of them. He is also certain that Sasuke and Sai desperately wish that Hinata and Tenten would see them as anyone but an average fuck face. Life is ironic and cruel that way.

Nonetheless, there is Ino, looking at her different tubes of lipstick. She probably wants it to go well with her top. She tells Neji that she wants to always look good for him. Neji doesn’t get it, so he doesn’t think he can properly appreciate it. He wonders if it bothers Shikamaru, that Ino is so thirsty for Neji’s approval. It would bother Neji, if he were into a girl who was looking at someone else. Ino turns her head and smiles at him. “Are you going to come inside?” she asks. Neji shrugs.

“I am in the room,” he says, “I am comfortable here.”

“Just sit on the bed.” She drawls, once again looking at herself in the mirror. Neji eyes the bed. Chouji moves over for him, but Shikamaru shifts to take up more room. Neji blinks.

“I don’t think there is room for me.” He says. Ino turns around to look at her bed.

“There’s a spot right by Shikamaru,” she points. Neji clenches his jaw.

“No.” Neji drawls, “I would prefer to stand here.” Ino looks at him. He can tell that she is annoyed and is trying to contain it in front of Chouji and Shikamaru.

“Why not?” she asks. Neji’s jaw ticks. He glances over at Shikamaru who is glaring at him, and Chouji, who is giving him an encouraging look.

“Shikamaru is in my spot.” He says. Ino turns back to Shikamaru.

“Move.” She says. “Please?” she adds a smile.

“No,” Shikamaru replies. “I’m a guest.” Ino looks stunned.

“Move.” She says again, the _please_ gone from her voice.

“He’s not going to move,” Neji says. “So, I’ll stand here and watch.” Ino looks uncertain. She glances between Shikamaru and Neji. She finally shrugs.

“Shikamaru, can you at least say thank you?” she asks, looking at her waterline. She picks up her copper eyeliner. It makes the blue of her eyes stand out.

“Thank you, Neji.” Shikamaru drawls.

“You’re welcome,” Neji replies. “I thought I should let you beat me at something.” Voice cold, Neji glares right at Shikamaru, because they both know what the last few months of non-stop work has really been about.

Neji thinks about his conversation with Temari. _I know the way you do_. It’s like the oxygen has been sucked out of the room. Shikamaru stares back, and in this moment, he realizes that Neji has known all along.

Ino turns to Neji, horrified. “What do you mean?” she asks stiffly. Neji looks at her, right into her eyes.

“Ask Temari,” he says, turning and walking out of the bedroom, and out of her apartment.

Ino watches his back, her mouth opening and closing. She turns to Shikamaru, who refuses to look at her. No longer concerned about her face, Ino tells Chouji he is in charge until she gets back, and she runs after Neji.

**

She catches up with him halfway back to his place. Ino reaches out and grabs his wrist when she realizes that he wouldn’t respond to her voice alone. “Neji, turn the fuck around and look at me.” He turns on his heel, and she pulls him against her. “What the fuck was that about?” she hisses. She sees the tendon in his neck rise in real time.

Neji doesn’t really know what he was hoping to accomplish by baiting Shikamaru. He just saw Shikamaru in his spot and thought _fuck it_. “Can you at least admit that Shikamaru has thought about having sex with you?” he asks. “That you’ve thought about him?” Neji is certain that she is always present when they are having sex. But he doubts that his face is always the one on her mind during his extended absences, which, _conveniently_ , are because of Shikamaru.

“Why do you never say things about Chouji?” she counters. Neji snorts, because that isn’t a counter argument at all. He’s not selectively stupid like Temari must be. Nothing gets past him.

“Because Chouji wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole.” He replies. Ino presses her mouth into a line, and he can tell that he has her there. He leans in, but softly, as if to kiss her. “You only react this way when I’m right.” His voice is quiet. He watches her mouth quiver.

“That’s a fucked up thing to say.” She replies.

“Which part?” he asks. “The part where you and Shikamaru would have sex with each other or the fact that Chouji wouldn’t have sex with you?” Ino stomps her foot.

“All of it. I don’t want to think about any of this! I wanted a nice night with you and my friends!” She shrieks. Neji doesn’t even wince.

“Well go tell Shikamaru.” Neji says, “I think you two really need to have a conversation. Why don’t you do that tonight, over dinner?” Ino balks.

“What did you just say to me?” she asks. Not once, did she ever think that she and Neji would be the couple yelling at each other on the street.

“Did I stutter?” he asks. Ino narrows her eyes.

“No,” she hisses, “you didn’t.” She releases his wrist and steps away. “Feel free to lose my number,” she says. Neji rolls his eyes.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” He says.

“Don’t bother!” Ino starts walking away, and Neji watches her melt into the crowd.

**

As an apology, Neji decides to take Ino out for dinner. She feels like he is throwing her a bone. It makes her angry. She wants more for herself than to feel like a person. She wants the impossible things: the sun and moon, the stars. She wants to be loved on a cellular level. Neji loves her, but not the way she wants him to.

Neji is glowering at the menu. They haven’t ordered yet, but they bickered the whole way to the restaurant. She didn’t like the way he dressed. He refused to go home and change. Ino feels like a fool, sitting across from a man dressed in his everyday clothes while she wears her nicest pink dress. She swirls her wine in her glass, frowning. Neji doesn’t look at her. Apparently, her comment about his clothes really hurt.

“You work too much,” she says, deciding to be difficult. Neji sighs.

“Don’t start with me, Ino.” He sighs. Neji just wants to have a nice time, but Ino always gets adversarial when he dismisses her.

“Well, when are we going to talk about it?” she asks in a soft voice. It’s the one she uses when she is on her way to yelling at him.

“We always talk about it,” he replies. “The answer isn’t going to change.”

“Don’t you want to spend more time with me?” Ino asks. She hasn’t forgiven him for making her acknowledge that her feelings for Shikamaru aren’t entirely platonic. Of course, they won’t talk about _that_. Instead, they will talk around it by fighting over his work schedule, as if that were the real problem.

“You know I want to,” he blatantly lies. Right now, he would prefer a root canal.

“You’re lying,” she sips her wine, shooting him a viperous look. He sighs.

“Why would you say something like that?” he asks, not making eye contact. She doesn’t miss the fact that he doesn’t deny it.

“Because you won’t look at me,” she simpers. He looks up at her.

“I want to spend more time with you,” he says in a flat voice. She narrows her eyes.

“You aren’t even trying to be nice.” She replies.

“I’m taking you out for dinner,” he says, “I am being nice.”

“No, you’re not,” she says, gripping her glass, “you are taking me here to placate me.” Neji frowns.

“You are always looking for me to do something wrong.” He says. It feels like he can’t do anything right.

“I haven’t met your uncle.” She sips her wine.

“I told you, my uncle is an _asshole_.” He replies, putting the menu down. Neji hopes that emphasizing the last word helps get his point through her head.

“When am I going to feel like a part of your life?”

“You are a part of my life.” He replies, “I have a very small life. I’m not a social person.”

Ino pauses, wondering if that was the problem. Maybe his life is too small. So small that there will never be enough space for her. She looks down into her wine glass. He sighs, relieved, and looks back at his menu.

“I just want to take care of you,” she says quietly. Neji looks up at her.

“I don’t need to be taken care of,” he replies.

“Then what do you need from me?” she asks. She desperately hopes that she will like the answer. He rolls his eyes. “Stop dismissing me, like none of my questions matter. What do you need from me?” there is a note in desperation in her voice that he has never heard before.

“I don’t _need_ anything from you,” he replies. “I am here because I want to be.” He doesn’t know if he says this because it is a habit, but any other answer would be a lie.

“How can you love me if you don’t need me?” she asks. He watches the waiter back away from their table. Apparently, others are beginning to notice their little discussion.

“Love isn’t about need,” he says, “not for me, anyway.”

“I don’t think you love me.” He groans in response.

“I think you want to browbeat me into an idea of love.” He replies. Ino jumps on him, her voice rising.

“Browbeat?!” she asks. Neji curses himself for his own wording.

“Sometimes, I don’t think I can do anything to make you happy.” He says. It makes him feel like a failure. He has never not lived up to people’s expectations of him.

“It’s not hard to make me happy,” she declares, “I don’t have high expectations!” She raises her voice. He sighs.

“Look at yourself! You are yelling at me in a restaurant for reasons beyond my understanding. I don’t get it, Ino, what the hell do you want from me?!” he says.

“I want you to make time for me. Real time for me. Not just dinners to placate me. I want to feel like we are in this together!” She shrieks. Everyone is looking at them now, and Neji clenches his jaw.

“Ino, calm down.” He says. Neji’s hand is outstretched, his palm facing the table. He moves it up and down, in a ‘turn it the fuck down’ gesture.

This infuriates her. “I am not crazy!” She declares.

“I didn’t say that.” He hisses, looking around at the other diners.

“Then stop dismissing me and talk to me properly,” she says, standing up. Neji looks up at her, eyes narrowed.

“You always escalate everything,” he replies, “it’s never a discussion with you.”

“Oh, really? So now I _browbeat_ you into every conversation we have ever had?” Ino asks, holding her wine glass so tightly that it might crack.

“I am not indulging this tantrum.” He says, putting his hands up. Ino’s mouth twists.

“You think this a tantrum?” she asks. “That’s what you think I am doing?”

“Yes, at this point, I think you are throwing a tantrum,” Neji says. He glares at her. It is like her hand operates independently from her brain. She leans down, and jerks her glass up, throwing her wine in his face.

For the first time, Neji seems genuinely surprised by her behavior. There are a lot of different things she could say to him, but Ino goes for the first thing that comes to mind.

“Fuck you, Neji.” She grabs her purse and stomps out of the restaurant.

**

But the most devastating moment happens in relative silence. Neji pays the bill for her wine and generously tips the waiter to compensate for their display. He then walks to her apartment. When he knocks, it takes a minute for her to answer. Ino is still in her nice dress, but she has taken her make up off. He can tell by the black smudges around her eyes.

“Yes?” she asks. Neji bites his lower lip.

“May I come in?” Ino nods and opens her door. Neji walks in. He looks around her apartment. There is a half-empty glass of wine on the counter. He turns around in her kitchen, looking at her.

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly. She holds herself back. Neji sighs.

“It’s fine.” He hasn’t even cleaned himself up.

“No, it isn’t,” she says, pushing her bangs back behind her ear. Neji nods.

“It’s not.” He says. Where can your relationship go when you dump wine on your partner’s head? Nowhere. Maybe if they were different, they could get over it. Heal. Move on and forward.

But Neji is Neji and Ino is Ino, and she doesn’t really want him. She just wants to want him, and he is incapable of the love she wants to have.

“I really, really love you,” she says, like that could make up for everything that has happened. Neji walks up to her, tilting his head.

“No, you don’t.” He says. Ino blinks.

“What do you mean?” she asks, her voice soft. Neji puts his hand on her cheek.

“You don’t want me.” He says, “you want to, but you don’t. At most, you would really like to love me.” Ino’s eyes start watering. Neji finds it hard to hold eye contact with her, but he doesn’t look away.

She searches his eyes, looking for any hint that he is going to fight for her. But she can see that he won’t compromise. The tears start small, but she is quickly gasping and sputtering. Nothing he said was wrong, and in the depths of her heart, she knows it’s the right decision for them. But that doesn’t make it suck any less.

“You want Shikamaru,” he finally says. Ino shakes her head. _No. No. No._ She wants him to be wrong. So deeply and incredibly does she want him to be wrong. But Neji has never been wrong.

“I don’t want to,” she says quietly.

“I know.” He nods. Neji opens his arms and embraces her. He opens his body completely to her, and she presses against him. He has never held her closer than he has now.

“I’m sorry,” he says. He wants to take her face in his hands and clear her tears away. It’s an impulse that surprises him. It’s devastating him too, realizing that love isn’t enough, that _he_ isn’t enough. It hurts.

Ino searches for his face with her hands, her mouth. She creates distance between them so that her hands can move to his face. All closeness, intimacy, requires distance. She presses her mouth to his. He welcomes her, and he deepens their kiss.

“I’m going to miss you,” she mutters into his mouth.

“I’ll miss you too,” he replies. He moves his hands to her waist. He kisses her again. She sighs into his mouth. This is how their relationship makes sense.

Neji is a closed off person. It’s the only way he knows how to be. But having sex with Ino makes him wish that he could open up. Neji picks her up and places her onto the counter, and she wraps herself around him. She kisses him along his jaw, as he pushes her skirt up. “Are we doing this?” she asks. He sighs.

“I want to. Do you?” he asks. Ino nods.

“So much.” She wants him to bury himself inside her so deeply that she feels him for the rest of time. He kisses her neck as she fusses with the ties on his shirt. Now that she is touching it, she can feel how nicely made it is. It makes her feel guilty.

He likes all of Ino’s parts, even the ones that annoy him. But his favorite part, if asked, is the way that she makes him feel like a human being. He’s felt it before but never like he has with Ino. Tenten made him feel safe, but Ino sort of rips him open. Wide apart. As she pushes the shirt back over his shoulders, he thinks about asking her to climb into his ribcage. It’s a stupid thought, but in the currents, it all makes sense. Every stupid fight, passive aggressive remark. Even getting wine dumped on his head. He kisses along the line of her shoulder, and she sighs. She stretches her neck. He kisses the column of her throat.

He finds the zipper of her dress along the bodice and yanks it down. Neji pulls her dress off carefully, wanting to avoid a tear. “You could have ripped it,” she murmurs.

“That would have been wasteful,” he says. He unclips her bra, and she shucks it off as he gets onto his knees. He assumes the position of a supplicant, as he yanks down her underpants. She sighs, looking down at him as he presses his mouth to her. She rocks against him and sighs. Her eyes close, and behind her eyelids, a supercut of their time together plays.

Them in the bathtub, where it all started. His frown of concentration as he cleans the leaves of his jade. The time he ripped her dress off. Every time he kissed her neck. The way he would look at her when he was pretending to read a file. Him helping her mom around the house. These memories make it hurt when his tongue slips inside her. It is the kind of hurt that makes you feel alive. It scratches at the itch that makes her feel like a person. Her mouth goes slack, as he turns a corner and makes her believe that a person is a collection of crushed little stars.

It sears as he presses home, and she knots her hands in his hair. He keeps going, sliding against her as she rocks back and forth. Before Ino, all men are the same. Even him. His fingers move against his chin, and he debates whether he is prolonging this because he wants her to remember him, to think of him whenever Shikamaru finally gets inside her, or because he doesn’t want this to end. He likes the ugly noises she makes, her erratic breathing and the way her tummy gets rigid each time before he pushes her from the ledge.

It’s right for them to break up. They don’t fit together. Not in the ways that count. He doesn’t pull back. She pushes him away. “I’m done,” she murmurs. Neji bites his lip and sits back on the floor, looking up at her. He heaves, breathing in and out. She moves off the counter, landing on the balls of her feet. She walks over to him. “Daddy,” she murmurs. Neji shakes his head.

“No,” he says, “it’s just me.” Ino tilts her head as he unzips his pants. She looks down at him. He thinks she looks beautiful. Neji will probably use this particular memory for a very long time. She lowers onto him, and he doesn’t stop her. He lies back and holds her hips, digging his thumbs into her hips. She moves up and down, rolling and rolling and rolling until she finds the swell and he jerks up, once, twice. He sits up to meet her. She inhales his top lip and he groans into her. She sighs his name, and all he can say is _yes_.

He has already bruised her lower lip, but it doesn’t stop him from worrying it. _Yes,_ she thinks, _leave a mark. Bruise me. Deform me_. Ino has an even more perverse, perhaps evil thought: _make it so that Shikamaru has to move heaven and earth to even hold a candle to you_. She wants Shikamaru, but she doesn’t know if he will be able to do her like this. _Fuck_ , he is just going to have to learn.

She rises up above him, and her hand is on his jaw. Her thumb digs into the edge of his lower jaw, tipping his head back. She cracks herself apart, one last time, and when he comes inside her, she feels completely, baldly human.

Neji presses his forehead into her collarbone, breathing hard, his arms around her waist. Ino wraps her arms around his head. She kisses the crown of his head, and he sighs. “I’m going to miss you.” He murmurs into her. He pulls her down and she rolls off him.

Ino presses up against him. “What if I never feel like a person again?” she asks. He turns his head to look at the side of her face.

“You will. Maybe you’ll feel like more.” Neji can give her humanity, but not the world. Even the tiniest star is outside of his reach.

He sits up and runs his hands through his hair as she lies down on the floor. “Can you stay tonight?” she asks. He looks over at her over his shoulder.

“To sleep?” he asks.

“Maybe more,” she grins. Neji smiles.

The next morning, he wakes up with his head on her stomach. Her tummy grumbles. She is asleep, and he doesn’t bother waking her up. He leaves a note asking her to take her things from his apartment and to give Hinata her key. Neji packs his things into a trash bag. He locks her door and slides his key back under her door. He picks up a mission that morning and is gone for a week. Sasuke and Sai can tell by his sullen demeanor that it is finally over.

 _You figure it out?_ Sasuke asked. Neji nodded. _I learned my lesson_. Sai buys Neji the kind of granola bar he likes best from the closest convenience store.

While on the mission, Neji gets news that Tenten will be joining their Anbu squad. Sasuke and Neji may eye contact when Sai squeaks _sounds great_ and nearly trips over their campfire. _Way to be cool_ , Sasuke drawls, and they both snicker at the embarrassed expression on Sai’s face.

When Neji comes back from the mission, he opens his apartment. Her things are gone, but she left another jade plant. It’s an apology, a wish for good luck. He smiles as he rubs a firm leaf with his thumb.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a follow up to Salt. I'm sorry that this is a bummer. In some ways, I consider these two pieces to be a prequel to Roses in a Flatbed (you absolutely do NOT have to read it to understand this story). Neji/Ino are still no SaiTen, but I wanted to give them another story. I might revisit them in the future, but for now, this is all I have to say about them. 
> 
> There are a few references. There is a line that alludes to the title of a Mitski song, "My Body is Made of Crushed Little Stars". The P.G.O.A.T is a term from David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest--I use it in other stories, and I only just remembered to reference it (sorry!)
> 
> Writing this involved listening to Phoebe Bridgers' "I Know the End", Lana Del Rey's "National Anthem" and "Happiness is a Butterfly", Lorde's "Supercut and "Writer in the Dark" and St. Vincent's "New York". I know sometimes people want to know what is going on in my head when I write, and well, that is it.
> 
> I am working on an update to Storms and Half-Knot, but I am trying to clear through the shorter stuff first. School and work are upon me, so all I can really say is that I promise that they will both be updated! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this, even though it is a bummer. Feel free to leave a comment! Stay safe out there.


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